LORD, CHANGE ME? Part 2

He whom you would change, you must first love.

“A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

John 13:34

In my last post (Lord, Change Me?  Part 1), I began the story of my rocky relationship with my mom.  Let’s pick up where we left off:

Mom received Jesus as her Savior and Lord through the loving efforts of my brothers.  One of my brothers visited her every day, and he always made sure to pray with her.  Unknown to me, they prayed to heal my mom’s and my relationship.  While I was praying for help to love Mom, she was praying for help to love me!  We were on track for a miracle!

Little by little, things changed.  My husband and sons noticed I was different whenever I talked with Mom.  They said I was more patient and kind and didn’t sound as angry. 

Then a life-threatening incident occurred.

Mom lived alone, and one morning she collapsed in her kitchen and was too weak to get up.  She tried but couldn’t reach the phone.  We had given her one of those “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up” notification devices, but she wasn’t wearing it.  It was on her bedroom dresser, which was at the opposite end of her long ranch house.  In her weakened condition, mom pushed herself along the floor, slowly making her way to her bedroom.

Usually, people dropped in on my mom to check on her, but on this day, no one stopped by, not even my brother, who always visited her after he got off work.  Thirty-six hours later, my brother arrived after work.  He found Mom unconscious on her bedroom floor, her face bloody and raw from pushing herself over the carpet.  He called for help and rushed Mom to the hospital.

I went to the hospital, and an astonishing thing happened when I walked into her room.

She sat in her hospital bed, face all swollen and raw.  I saw a glorious light shining around her (no one else saw it).  She looked like the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.  My heart exploded with love for her—I don’t know how else to explain it.  I ran to her bedside, hugged and kissed her, and told her I loved her.  And I meant it from my deepest heart.  I had an overwhelming love for her that I’d never felt before.

I repeated how much I loved her and was glad she was my mom.  Then I asked her to forgive me for all the years I was so angry with her.  She cried and laughed and said, “Of course I forgive you!  A million, billion times, I forgive you!”  Then she asked me to forgive her.  My new heart, bursting with love, forgave her immediately.  We agreed the past was over, and we would go on from this point in a brand-new relationship as mother and daughter.

The time I spent with Mom in the remaining months of her life was golden to me.

She needed full-time care, and I had the joy and privilege of helping to take care of her in her home.  Those were lovely times together!  My heart was full of joy and love, and I hugged and kissed her a lot!  We had many meaningful mother-daughter talks, during which I realized I was receiving what I had longed for.  We’d talk and laugh and cry and sing.

Once when I was crying because I felt hurt by something that happened, Mom comforted me.  She held me in her arms and rocked me and stroked my hair.  I felt my emotional tank filling up!  That night when I was tucking her into bed and saying good night, she took my face in her hands and said, “I love you, Jean.  I love you just the way you are.”  At last—the words I always longed to hear!

Mom was ready to die, and we talked about it often.

We would talk about Heaven, and Mom told me about a stairway she often saw, and she knew it was a stairway to Heaven.  She realized she had climbed all the stairs, but there was one more golden step.  One day—too soon for me—Mom saw Jesus on that golden step holding out His hand, and she is with Him now in Heaven

My mom was a loving, caring, generous, forgiving woman.  It took me a lifetime to realize that.  I am her daughter, and with God’s help, I will do all I can to carry on her legacy.