Love yourself. Love your body concept. . Take time for your self. Woman hugging herself with hearts on white background. Pastel pink cute soft colors

JUST AS I AM

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.”

2 Corinthians 5:17

In my last blog post, “I Am Woman, Part 2,” I wrote of God’s helping me realize who He created me to be—the woman He created me to be. 

He transformed me from feeling like a blank nothing to embracing my femininity and the strong female role He created me for.

It was a great transition that absolutely delighted me.  But it wasn’t the end of what God wanted to do to help me love how He created me.  Next, we were to work on my body image.  And boy, did God ever have something surprising to show me!

I had always struggled with my appearance, my body image.

Our culture says that if your body and looks are consistent with our society’s view of beauty, you are considered valuable.  Have you ever felt that you have no value because you don’t measure up physically?  Well, I sure did!

I grew up in a large and extended family with LOTS of boys.  I was one of very few girls among them, and they were often unkind in their treatment of me.  They teased and ridiculed me about my appearance.  Looking back at photos of when I was a little girl, I wasn’t fat at all, yet Fatso, Tubby, Tub o’ lard, or Fatty-Fatty two-by-four is what continued to ring in my ears as I grew up.  And, of course, they told me I was ugly.

It’s normal for boys to tease girls, but I took their words to heart.  Besides, no one was defending me or giving me any messages to counteract their taunts.  Sometimes my father and uncles joined in on the ridicule.  If I complained about how I was being treated, I was told to stop being so sensitive.

Those messages stayed with me as an adult, and I was ashamed of my appearance.

It was a struggle for me to overcome those voices from long ago.  Not liking your body is a symptom of not understanding and accepting who you are to God.  You feel rejected, and so you assume God rejects you too.  This gets in the way of what God wants to do in your life.

Amazingly, God keeps working in my life, changing wrong thinking and helping me to develop an authentic and healthy view of myself. 

When my husband and I moved to a new town because of my work, I decided to join a health club.

My company subsidized the membership cost, so I joined a conveniently located health club.  It was a vast place, and I was overwhelmed the first time I walked in.  I looked at all the unfamiliar machines, the weights, and many young, buff bodies.  I felt so old and out of place.  I turned to leave, thinking I would cancel my membership and find someplace smaller and safer, when I literally walked right into a gigantic man—very tall, extremely muscular, and built like a football player.  But he had a big friendly smile and said, “I’ve been watching you, and it looks like you could use some help.” 

It turned out that this friendly young man was a personal trainer, and my bumping into him was no coincidence—it was a divine appointment.  I came to the health club to get my body into shape, but God had plans far beyond what I could think or imagine.

I signed up to work with this personal trainer.

My trainer, I’ll call him Bob (not his real name), was the most muscular and most masculine man I have ever gotten to know.  I had always feared and stayed away from powerfully masculine men.  I believe this was because I generally feared men due to sexual abuse in my background.  I never felt safe around men—except my husband, who was always kind and gentle.

If they had lined up all the trainers in a row, Bob would have been the last one I would have chosen because he looked so big and scary.  Yet, he made me feel safe right from the start.  It’s so like God to connect me with this intensely masculine man I usually would have rejected.

Miraculously, I didn’t feel ashamed of my body as we talked frankly about my fitness goals.

I even let Bob do one of those body composition assessments—I call them fat tests.  But right from the beginning, I trusted Bob and knew he wanted to help me.

As I trained with Bob, I realized the benefit of working with a personal trainer, which I never thought I’d have the courage to do—submit myself one-on-one to someone’s help regarding my body.  But as I grew to know Bob, I realized he was very knowledgeable about exercise and physiology and could tailor the exercises based on what I needed to make me strong.  I trusted him and submitted to whatever he asked me to do.

He didn’t judge my physical condition or my appearance.

He was pleased that I was willing to take steps to care for my body and was turning to him for help.  He considered that I had a weak back and had me do exercises to strengthen my back without causing further harm.  He pushed me beyond what was comfortable for me, beyond what I thought I could do, knowing it would make me strong.

And he always watched me carefully whenever I was doing an exercise, giving me his full attention and never taking his eyes off me.  The moment I faltered in an exercise, he swooped in and placed his hands in precisely the right place, adding his strength to mine so that I could finish, assuring me that the difficulty of the exercise was making me stronger.

One day, when I was trying to complete an exercise, I ran out of strength with about six reps to go.

Bob swiftly moved in behind me, put his arms around me and his hands on mine, and assisted me in completing the set.  Right when he did that, I felt like a “swoosh,” almost like a breeze blowing, and suddenly I sensed an enormous presence behind me and felt a vast power there.  I closed my eyes, and I knew it was Jesus.  I had a glorious epiphany as God revealed to my heart how Jesus helps me in my life!

Jesus knows me and tailors all the events in my life based on what I need to make me strong.  He is pleased that I am willing to do what it takes to grow and turn to Him for help.  He knows all my weaknesses and has me do things that will strengthen me without causing further harm.  He pushes me beyond what is comfortable, beyond what I think I am capable of, knowing it will make me strong.  And He watches carefully, constantly, giving me his full attention, never taking His eyes off me.  The moment I falter in my attempts to do something He has given me to do, He is instantly there, placing His hands in exactly the right place, adding His strength to mine so that I can finish, assuring me that the difficulty of the circumstance strengthens me.  He encourages me and believes in me, and cares about the progress in my life.

All this insight about Jesus, plus the genuine sense of His mighty presence, was overwhelming!

I didn’t cry at that moment—that would have freaked Bob out!  But boy, I had a good cry on the way home in the car as I realized what God had just shown me.

God used this vigorous young man in his role as a personal trainer to give me a new insight into how Jesus helps me in my life and also to give me a sense of the true masculine strength and power of Jesus.  Just as God showed me about my being female and what true feminine looked like, He showed me true masculine strength and what that looked like.  It is glorious, and I am not to fear it anymore.

And all this in a health club!  You never know what amazing things God will do once your heart and life are yielded to Him!

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Hi, I'm Jean!

I love writing about what Jesus has done in my life to help encourage others.  I live in the Chicagoland area with my husband, Hal.  We’ve been married for over 50 years.  We have two married sons, five grandchildren, and a little dog named Charlie. I also own a virtual assistant business called Jean’s Virtual Administrative Solutions.