IF YOU SEE SOMEONE WITHOUT A SMILE, GIVE THEM ONE OF YOURS

The curve of a smile can set a lot of things straight.

“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.”

Proverbs 15:30

Have you ever had one of those days?

An expression describes “one of those days” for me: “I only have one nerve left, and you’re getting on it.” 

On days like that, everything that can go wrong does.  I am very impatient, running behind, and I usually have a headache or a bad back day.  In other words, woe to the person who gets on that last nerve.

I realize on days like that, I could use a smile.

Years ago, during one of those days, I had a complete meltdown at a big box store one week before Christmas.  I stopped at the store after work, where I’d had a very frustrating day.  I was in a lot of pain from my chronic back condition and found it difficult to walk or stand for long periods.  I’d purchased a Christmas decoration that I wanted to return.  I needed to finish this task quickly, as my back was killing me, and I wanted to get home. 

Unfortunately, there was a long line at the Customer Service Desk.  I waited impatiently.

When it finally was my turn, I was met by a sullen clerk who pointed to a sign that said, “Christmas decor cannot be returned after December 15.”  We were not off to a good start.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said in a less-than-friendly tone.  “I bought two of these, and I only need one.  You’re saying that’s too bad, so sad?”

“No,” she replied curtly.  “You may exchange it for another item of equal value.”

With pain stabbing my back, I grumbled as I made my way to another section of the store.

You never saw anyone look through Christmas decorations as quickly as I did, trying to find something I liked that wouldn’t be a waste of money and cost the same as the item I wanted to return.  Surprisingly, I found something charming which cost about $3.00 less than the original.  I felt pretty pleased, thinking they would give me the $3.00 difference, and limped my way back to stand in line again at the Customer Service Desk.

I approached the counter with my selection and happily announced, “I found something!”  The clerk looked at the price tag and, just as sullen as before, said, “Now you need to go back and find something for the last $3.00.”

She found my last nerve and was standing on it! 

I confess that my response was not something that Jesus would do.  With my back throbbing in pain, the last thing I wanted to do was go back out into the store and look for a Christmas decoration for $3.00. 

I lost it.

“Shut up!” I shouted.  I meant that as an expression, “You don’t mean that, do you?”  But she took it literally, thinking I had just told her to shut up.  Her expression and attitude went from sullen to surly in a flash.  We had a significant conflict on our hands right there in front of everybody.

She snapped, “I just work here.  I don’t make up the rules.”  That didn’t help me.  “Well, you stink!” I countered.  That didn’t help her.

Appropriately, she called her supervisor, who backed her up and told me I needed to find another item for $3.00.  So, I told him, “You stink, too!  Just give me a $3.00 store credit.”  But I was told they couldn’t do that.  Why were these people being so unreasonable?  It didn’t occur to me that I was acting unreasonably too.

By this time, a crowd had gathered, but I didn’t care.

The supervisor summoned the store manager.  This wise person, to quiet me down and get me out of the store, gave me the $3.00 store credit I asked for.  I took my purchase and indignantly stormed out of the store.

I got into my car and burst into tears.  What had I just done?

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I couldn’t believe my behavior with the workers in the store.  I lost control and behaved as I would never want to be treated.  How did it get to that point?  How different would things have been if the clerk and I had made an effort to smile at one another?

I returned to the store the next day and spoke to the store manager and the clerk’s supervisor.  The clerk wasn’t there, as her shift had yet to start.  I sincerely apologized to the manager and supervisor.  I asked them to convey my apologies to the clerk when she reported for work.  I explained I had been in great pain, but that was no excuse for behaving as I did.  They deserved my courtesy and respect, just as I deserved theirs.

I put into practice what a difference a smile can make.

Years later, I got a job in retail and was on the other side of the counter.  I never forgot that incident with the big box clerk, and I used what I learned from that experience as I waited on customers.  When a customer approached the counter and seemed grouchy or glum, I always looked them in the eye and gave them a big smile.  I’d then say something pleasant or humorous, and it never failed to change the customer’s mood.  I treated them as I wished I’d been treated as a customer in that big box store.

And I take it a step further now.  Have you noticed how many clerks are glum and never make eye contact with you?  Well, I have, and I always make it a point, as their customer, to make eye contact with them and give them a big smile.  I’ll say something pleasant or humorous, and they are agreeable and engaged with me in no time.  It takes so little to turn things around.

You never know what’s going on with a person to make them behave as they do.

That day in the big box store, I was in a lot of pain, which negatively influenced my mood.  The clerk didn’t know that, though.  Also, I didn’t know what might have been the cause of her sullenness.  Not that our negative behavior was justified by whatever we felt at that moment.  We don’t know what someone might be going through to cause them to respond negatively, and we should be prepared to give folks the benefit of the doubt.  That’s called grace.

What would Jesus do?

It’s never a bad idea to think about that and try to be just like Him.  You’ll never go wrong doing that!