AFTER THE SCAM

In my last post, “SCAMMED,” I wrote about falling victim to a scam and losing all our savings.  I hope you will take the time to read it if you haven’t read it yet.  It is incredible how easy it is to be drawn into a situation and be fooled by professional swindlers.  I shared my story to offer lessons learned.  May it never happen to you!

The scam started for us on August 1 and went on for two weeks.  Once we realized we’d been cheated out of our savings, we took steps to resolve things, but it was too late.   Our money was gone, and the scammers were beyond reach.

Grief, guilt, and shame.

My first reaction to the incident was grief over losing our money.  But immediately following the grief came an enormous amount of guilt and shame.  The guilt was from feeling responsible for having lost our entire savings.  The shame was from feeling foolish for missing all the red flags and falling for the con. 

How could I be so stupid?  I couldn’t stop beating myself up.  Everyone—from the police to the bank to family and friends—told me not to beat myself up.  It wasn’t my fault; these men were professional thieves, and it was their job to deceive me.  And boy, they were good at their job.

I tried to take the advice I was given, but it seemed impossible not to blame myself.  I cried for days and days, and when I stopped crying, I fell into a depression.

Building a wall.

My depression triggered a desire to protect myself.  I felt myself starting to build a wall.  I wanted to keep others at arm’s length because I didn’t want to take a chance of getting deceived and hurt again.  I was in a horrible place of feeling I couldn’t trust anyone.  I was really feeling gun-shy.  Someone told me later that I was experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.

Worst of all, I was afraid to turn to God.

Was God mad at me?  By the way, where was He?

We tend to project our relationship with our earthly father onto our relationship with God, our Heavenly Father.  I got it into my head that God was mad at me for losing our savings.  My earthly father would have been angry with me for being “so stupid” as to lose all our savings.  In my depressed state, I imagined God was angry with me, and I was afraid to face Him.

Another thing that made me think God was mad at me was He’d been silent throughout the entire time we were being scammed.  I prayed to Him each day, asking for His help and guidance regarding our savings being hacked.  I prayed, but I heard nothing from Him.  Usually, I can discern His guidance when I pray, but I sensed nothing as I prayed through the entire two weeks.  Crickets. 

I didn’t understand that.

I grew angry with God.

I finally got past believing God was angry with me for losing our savings, and then I began feeling mad at Him.  In my prayers, I lashed out at Him for remaining silent during my time of need.  I couldn’t understand why He didn’t help me, why He didn’t stop what was happening to us, why He didn’t answer my earnest prayers for guidance.  I was struggling with my faith in God’s goodness and faithfulness. 

I was having a spiritual breakdown along with my emotional breakdown.  What a mess!

I decided I wanted to heal.

I wanted to withdraw from God and the world, but something in me said what I really needed to do was to talk about it.  But to whom would I talk?  I was terrified of being thought a fool.  I suppose a counselor would have been a desirable choice, but I didn’t have the energy to find a counselor and set that up.  So I started with a sister-in-law with whom I have a very close relationship.  That was one of the best decisions I could have made at the time, as she knew just what to say and broke through the wall I had been building. 

Next, I reached out to one of my closest friends, whom I learned had recently been robbed by men posing as water department repairmen.  She and her husband, too, had been conned!  I was not alone.  She advised me not to remain silent about what happened to me but to talk about it as often as I could to help others and, in doing so, help myself.

And then, I took a chance and shared my story at a virtual meeting of Kingdom Virtual Assistants Alumni, with whom I am in a support group.  These godly women listened with compassion and offered love, support, encouragement, and prayers, as did my sister-in-law and my close friend.

Using others, God was getting through to me.

My fear of being deceived again left me.  I started feeling strong and alive.  And best of all, through the encouragement and prayers of others, my faith in God was restored.  I felt Him caring for me through other people, and I was inspired to draw near Him again. 

I realized God had never left me, even when I didn’t hear Him or feel His presence.  And even though I don’t understand why He allowed me to experience the scam, I know that He is good, that He loves me, and that, in some way, He will redeem the situation. 

And now, I have shared my story with you.

I healed enough to be able to write about being scammed on my blog.  I have received many encouraging and supportive comments, for which I am incredibly grateful!  And I trust that many people are now aware that evil fraudsters are out there, perfecting ways of being deceitful.

But the Bible promises God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  (Romans 8:28). 

Life hits us with troubles and problems, but God is still trustworthy, faithful, and good.  That, my friends, is what enables us to endure and carry on, even to thrive!  I have confidence in that, and I praise God for His promises!

Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you!